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Sunday, January 25, 2009

Say goodbye to this smile

We were getting ready for bed tonight and I was helping Walker floss his teeth.  We use those handy little pre-flossed picks for the kids, and as I was wiggling the tool back and forth, I came to the front teeth on the bottom and as I inserted the floss, his bottom center right tooth wiggled.  I almost dropped the tool and I placed my finger tip on the tooth and pushed back and forth and the tooth went with me.  

What?  He's only four!  I yelled for Erik to come up and check it out as well.  He wasn't as devastated as me - he says, "relax, we're going to the dentist tomorrow!"  I am not afraid something is wrong - I am sad that my four year old has a loose tooth!  I made Erik go back downstairs and google "when do children lose their first tooth?" and he said according to the Mayo Clinic website, children can lose teeth as early as five and as late as age 8.  (Yes, I did double check on my own and the facts are correct).  I do remember my aunt telling me that her dentist told her that the earlier they get their teeth as babies, the earlier they lose their teeth as preschoolers.  

None of this knowledge softens the blow of having physical proof my baby is turning 5.  For some reason, lately, Walker has been acting with a great maturity.  He's been playing well with his siblings, asking provocative and insightful questions, and accomplishing tasks he usually would balk at and complain over.  It has been lovely yet disturbing as I watch him mature before my eyes.  What a gift God has given me to be his mother and what a privilege I have to be at home to watch all of this daily.  Granted, most days, my patience has been tried to its limits, but overall, I am overwhelmed with thanks that I got to spend all of this precious time with this great little boy.  My days of being first in his life are becoming limited.
  Already, he prefers to spend his "free" time working with his daddy instead of hanging out with his Momma.  That is as it should be.  Erik is a wonderful father and role model for Walker to learn from.  

I just wish these last five years hadn't gone so very quickly.  It amazes me that I can still remember vividly the last visit to the Ob/Gyn and the CNM telling me that she would probably see me over the weekend as she was on call.  As she predicted, I went to the hospital that weekend and that beautiful baby boy was born.  I remember the feel of him snuggled against my neck, inhaling that intoxicating scent of new born baby - feeling giddy not just because I was a mother, but because I was his mother.  I remember staying semi-awake all night cuddling him in my arms, cocooning him, because I didn't want to be apart from him and the hospital where I delivered does not allow newborns to be in the room with you if you are sleeping.  I remember
 my mother exclaiming when, as I held him against my chest, he picked his head right up as if he was a three month old, showing off his neck strength - and to get a good look at what all was going on.  The boy is still a little hose-nose Harold.  He always wants to know what is going on.  
I didn't mean to go on and on in this post about my memories of Walker.  I do realize that five is still just a baby and that he has a lot of growing and a lot of needing Momma left.  Five is just such a milestone and it seems a little overwhelming to me this week.  

I'm putting together a picture DVD of Walker's first 5 years of life.  I'm sure I'll be posting photos of my little buckaroo throughout the week, so I hope you'll check back to see them.  
Not sure if I'll be able to blog much as we are completing tasks for the big Birthday party on Saturday, followed by the big SUPERBOWL party on Sunday . . .  GO Steelers!  

And say goodbye to this perfect little smile.  Soon it will be gone forever.  

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