Random Conversations with my Children

I know that this post will have no real appeal to anyone outside of my family, but since the  main goal of this blog is for me to have a record of the things my family does, I thought that it was time to put together a post of Random Conversations with my children.

Momma:  Maggie?  Why did you spread your curtain that fell down all across the floor last night?

Maggie:  Because a BIG cwocodile and a wittle cwocadile was gonna get me.

Momma:  What were you more afraid of, the big one or the little one?

Maggie:  Well, I sure wasn't afraid of the wittle one!

The children have been expressing a great deal of interest in what is going to happen to me as I get closer to my due date.  Unfortunately/fortunately, they are pretty aware of the actual birthing process having watched a wide variety of animals give birth on the farm.  Walker has expressed some anxiety over all the doctor appointments so we recently had him come with us.  It was a busy day - I had to do a one hour glucose test where I drank a sugary orange drink (I found out that this drink contains 3x more sugar than a Mountain Dew soft drink!) and then after waiting for one hour, I have blood drawn.  In the one hour wait time, we took Walker to the maternity ward, showed him the rooms and the nursery.  He wasn't too impressed.  Then we headed back to the lab to get the blood work.  He wanted to come in and see what happened and was sitting in a chair across from me.  He was a little scared but I just explained that the phlebotomist would stick a needle in my arm kind of like a shot and blood would come out through a tube and fill a little vase.  He watched with a little horror as she inserted the needle, but the we could see him straining to see.  The phlebotomist told him he could come over closer to see.  So he watched me fill up to vials of blood.  

Phlebotomist:  Here's one vial of blood - all filled up.  Touch it, it's very warm.

Walker:  Momma!  I didn't know your blood was so hot!

Phlebotomist:  Ok.  We got two tubes so we're all done.

Walker with great disappointment:  Aw.  Can't we just do another one?

I admit with some shame that occasionally we are those parents that threaten the kids with a wooden spoon.  We've never actually had to use it really, just the threat scares them pretty good because I have told them stories of my mom hitting me with a wooden spoon or the 'pank turner (pancake turner/spatula) and I make it sound so gruesome that they know it will really hurt.  The other night, Walker and Maggie were whining a great deal about cleaning up the toys they had gotten out.  

Erik said threatening:  Where is that wooden spoon?  

Will, running into the kitchen:  I get it for you, Daddy!

Walker recently went to the dentist and came home with a goody bag filled with a new toothbrush, toothpaste and floss. He left it in his Dad's truck but then asked Maggie to carry it to the house for him.

Walker picking his teeth with his fingernails:  Momma.  What did Maggie do with my gloss?

Momma:  Gloss?  I don't think you have any lip gloss, buddy.

Walker:  No - my GLOSS!  For my teeth!

Momma:  Oh - your dental floss.  Yeah, it's in the cupboard with the toothbrushes.


It has been a beautiful and sunny week here at Goodness Grows Farm.  Yesterday, the children spent hours outside.  Rather than come in the house and ask for one, they kids decided they would just get in the car and raid the stash of lollipops I keep in there for emergency bribe moments.  So yesterday afternoon, Will comes in the house with a lollipop and says:
Will (with a big smile on his face and laughter in his voice:  Momma.  Chloe like me pop.  So funny.  
Momma (a little stricken, but complacent in only the way a farm mom can be when her children tell her about sharing their food with the pets): Oh yeah?  Chloe likes lime lollipops, huh?
Will:  Yeah.  Her say 'Yummy in my tummy'!  Then makes a big slurping noise.

Will (after eating lunch) sticking his belly out and lifting up his shirt:  Dere's a baby in mys tummy.
Momma:  Really?  What kind of baby?  
Will:  A pink one.
Momma:  So that must mean it is a girl baby.
Will (in his most indignant voice):  NO!  It is a pink one!
Will leaves kitchen in disgust.