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Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Unsocial Media

I've been kind of in the doldrums lately and I hadn't really been able to figure out why.  I've been busy getting stuff prepped for summer and doing some things to get ready for my sister's wedding so it's not like I've actually had time to sit down and think a whole lot, so I hadn't really had time to think about my melancholy until today when I was sitting at the laundry mat waiting for all of our camping laundry to wash that I realized what I was feeling was lonely.  Tonight as I was reading some posts on Facebook from my book league friends,  a group of women who have become an integral part of my life, that despite the daily contact I have with them on Facebook, I  hadn't actually seen any of them for any real girlfriend time in a month!

Eighteen months ago, this feeling would have never crossed my radar!  The fact of the matter is that I didn't have many friends that I made on my own.   My only real friend was C, who I met way back in the day, and who has been with me through all of what I consider my "grown up" life (dating Erik, our engagement, wedding, babies and more) and who has been such a generous and loyal friend to me over the years. I wrote a little about her here.

My recent bout of loneliness is as much my fault as it is a result of circumstances.  I like to blame busy schedules and all of the typical excuses, but the reality is that because of Facebook, I was lazy about reaching out to my friends.  I never actually called anyone to invite them out for coffee or to even just ask them what was going on in their lives.  It is so easy to feel like you are staying on top of things - to believe you are "communicating" with people via Facebook, but that's just not the truth.

I haven't seen my friends in a month and I miss them more than I can say.  Being someone who places a great deal of importance on friendship, yet also being a person who has a hard time letting people in, I can't stress the value I place on the friendships in my book league.  I honestly never thought I would have a group of girlfriends that I would be so close to.  I always considered myself a one on one kind of girlfriend.  Sure, I had interaction with groups of girls before, but I never let myself get close with them the way I have with these women.  I've had such a lovely "womance" with these lovely ladies!

These amazing women have changed my life and brought to it a richness and fullness I didn't know I was missing.  I am so very blessed to call them my friends.

This picture was taken almost a year ago and since then our little group has grown even more!  Not only have we added some new friends to our ranks, we've added more children.  I can't wait until we can all get together again and we can take a new picture of how our little GIANT Book League has grown!

Of course, I may just be an oddball and none of the other girls are missing me at all and they will read this and think I must be a desperate loser!  I really hope not because I really miss my friends and I hope they are missing me too.  I'm anticipating the day when all of our schedules will slow down with the end of the school year and we can move into our Summer Swim League schedule again.  I'm counting down the days!

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