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Thursday, September 3, 2009

Walker makes headlines again

I was going through photos tonight, organizing the month of August into a folder, when I came across this picture.  
Erik casually commented, "You should send that into The Boer Goat Magazine."

So I did.  Here is what I wrote.

Dear Editor,

Below is a photo I took of my son, Walker,  age 5, as he reclined in his dad's chair and enjoyed the latest issue of The Boer Goat magazine (just like his dad d
oes every time he receives a new issue in the mail).  Although Walker doesn't know how to read just yet, he sure did a good job of studying the pictures accompanying the articles and advertisements.  In fact, he'll be using photos clipped from your magazine for his "All About Me" project for his first day of Kindergarten on September 8.  
We appreciate the quality of The Boer Goat magazine and look forward to receiving each new issue. 
Thank you for your time.
Jennifer R. Schwalm

Imagine my surprise when I almost immediately got this response:

Your son is adorable! (Don't tell him. I know boys hate that.) I don't know whether to put Walker's photo in "Kid Corner" or in "Letters to the editor" but you can count on seeing it in one place or the other!

Thanks for writing and a special thanks for your praise. I usually don't hear from the readers until I do something wrong.

Billye Viner

If you'll send me your address, I'll send you an "uncut" copy.

Now I know none of you get "The Boer Goat Magazine" but as a goat farmer, trust me, there is no greater honor!

Walker's going to flip.  Now he'll have something cool to show at "show and tell."
Walker, if you are older and reading this, be thankful I was running behind that day.  If I had not been running late, you wouldn't have gotten exasperated with me, sat down in Daddy's chair and picked up the magazine to keep busy.  Then I wouldn't have seen you, gotten
 emotional seeing you sit in the chair like your dad and I wouldn't have run to get the camera and take your picture.  Then I wouldn't have had a picture to submit to "The Boer Goat"
 magazine and none of this would have happened.  So there - don't be mad at me when I'm running late!
Thanks to Billye Viner for being so nice and putting Walker in the magazine.  
And if you think I'm avoiding the fact that this little monster will be starting Kindergarten in 4 days, you're right.  We're not talking about that right now.  In fact, Walker and I have made a deal.  He is convinced that he is going to be bored at Kindergarten and he is angry that he will not have time to play with his sister because, (Please read the following and insert giant sobs, blubbering words, and sniffles.  Oh, a few hiccups would make the effect more realistic also). "She will be in preschool in the mornings" (two days a week), "and I will be at school after lunch.  We will not have time to play with each other!"  
Sob, sob, hold breath, hiccup, wail.  
Oh, sorry.  That's not me describing Walker's conversation with me anymore.  That's me imagining my baby getting on the big school bus and going to school.
Allright.  Enough.  I'm headed to the firesafe to look for Walker's birth certificate.  I think I have the date wrong.  It is not possible for this baby to be old enough to go to Kindergarten yet.  He can't be 5.  I think they recorded his birth year wrong.  They must have because I'm sure five years have not passed so quickly.  If five years went this fast - how fast will the next 12 go?  
That's it.  Maggie & Will are not allowed to grow up.  Do you hear me Maggie & Will?  I forbid you from getting older!  You will not go to Kindergarten.  You will stay little and live here forever!  END OF DISCUSSION!  YOU WILL NOT END UP LIKE YOUR BROTHER - going to school like a big boy.  Who does he think he is anyway?  A big kid now?  Well, I got news for him.  No matter where you go, no matter what you do, Timothy Walker Schwalm, you will always be my baby!

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